2008

“i went in search of something…only to realize, it was...”

dear dad,

holy. shit. i’m You. i am 100% certain that i have turned into a mini version of the man you...

hi. how are you?

stop.  think.  take your time to sincerely answer this question. if we did, most people will...

“to play it safe is not to play.”
— robert altman

territory that should be left unmarked

me: oh! he's really cute!
me: but he works on your floor.
me: oy! could you even imagine?
me: NO

this is not going to be good for business...

it really grinds my gears...

when i spill coffee on myself first thing in the morning!  humph!

i don't want what i wanted

it’s weird to realize some of your dreams or desires have changed…a lot. to realize that...

five things

i used to write down 5 things a day that made me smile. i am awful at keeping journals despite my...

“Failure is impossible.”
— susan b. anthony, activist for...

“sometimes i’m so comfortable with being...”
— me. uncomfy + confining. i...

it seems heart + head never see eye to...

blessings

counting them all this morning. Every. Last. One. + praying for those in china. it’s just...

i have Never been a front runner...

and refuse to start now. buying james frey new book today.   so he lied.  i’m over it....

“of all forms of courage, the ability to laugh is the most...”
— chapter 28, too old too...

priorities

need to straighten mine out. it is a difficult thing to know how to get to the light but not have...

“Books say: She did this because. Life says: She did this....”
— Julian Barnes, in Flaubert’s...

“seriously!? i think we have three vaginas between us right...”
— me in a very girlie girl...

boundries

somwhere along the line, i started to travel outside of mine. sometimes i wish i could color inside...

“the most secure prisons are those we construct ourselves”
— chapter 11, too soon too...

i'm not going to lie...

i would Kill for a bootleg copy of SATC. yes i know: bootlegs are bad + the entire industry loses...

beautiful girls

“any relationship is under the control of the person who...”
— chapter 5 of too soon too...

larry david

my other dream man. thought i should level the playing field a bit…or at least enter the other...

update

on this: i found it!  and i literally said outloud “i found it! i found it!” again, i am...

“dear sam, i wish i may i wish i might wish upon a star...”
— -my best friend jami she...

i saw this photo at the richard avedon exhibit at the met...

i just bought a brand new box of crayola...

i suggest you do the same. happy hump day! 

“the statue of limitations has expired on most* of our...”
— -from too soon old, too late...

dear momma,

you know how when i was a kid you used to make me + brett go to the bathroom every. single. time. we...

Penn Badgley

is my dream man…uh, boy?      arrest me now.  i don’t care. i love him.  + i am...

that night

“love you- you’re amazing. people can suck- people are...”
— me to a Fabulous writer friend...

that guy

have you ever had a someone in your life that drives you Up a wall— pining after you for...

“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.”
— albert einstein

too sensitive

me. it’s really becoming a liabilty.  don’t worry about breaking my heart: i’ve...

“another reason we are soulmates. i wrote an 8 page paper...”
— -alexis, in reference to...

firsts

they are usually quite significant: kisses, lovers, marriages… it’s funny though how...

“and i believe there comes a time, when everything just falls...”
— pat benatar, all fired up hell...

female masturbation: why still such a...

why do you think this is?  is it just me?  me thinks not… here’s my theory: while men...

“it’s never too late to have a happy childhood”
— -tom robbins i’m still...

“even the holy one dances with the devil.”
— literally my oldest friend. ...

john mayer

good for me.  not good for jen aniston.

“i spar against my demons of doubt. i grapple with my...”
— Eddy Rolon, mixed martial arts...

vulnerability

nothing wrong with experssing a bit of this at times. not a Damn thing wrong!

i wonder

what will happen if all the Loveliness that lives inside my head does not… no no!  Impossible...

“gosh s why don’t you just be honest! dan will Totally...”
— me, last nite to myself....

note to self:

attempt to extend yourself as much off the mat as you do while on it. flexibility is not one of my...

what's worse?

knowing what you have to do to make Essential changes in your life, having the heart + the mind to...

why must i Always read this during dinner?

call me lazy

but i cannot partake in any political debating or get too wrapped up in the campaign trail as of...

note to boys:

pick up the phone.  call.  the initial communication should be a call. it sends the wrong message...

self talk

the 5th grader inside of me is screaming for acceptance, a level of insecurity that makes me feel...

happiness to me

walking home from a great workout, fresh groceries in hand, feeling the sun… simple things...

your dreams

own them.  they are Yours. don’t let anyone step on them, steel them, take them away from...

i wish you could steel my eyes...see...

you’re Beautiful.

wish

sometimes i wish i had the answers to things that, well, i don’t have the answers to.  while...

time wasting contest*

i win. hands down. don’t even try to challenge me. *disclaimer: this does not apply to my on...

“oh hello betty. i like to keep up the illusion that i...”
— -claire meade, daniel’s...

on...

on figuring shit out: Always.  work in progress over here… on fitting in: don’t want...

a true story by samantha

we’re all just trying to get along. trying to make life a bit more interesting, trying to...

going through my head this morning

1) what’s the deal with meg white? 2) dear strokes, please come play for me this summer. ...

what i was thinking at the time*…  when he left i was alone again.  but i was alone a long...

stop trying so hard

you’re cool just being You.

great sex

when i hear this word, thrown around several times, in an entirely monotone voice, during a work...

realization

this blog is only half of what i thought it would be but i love what it has been + is becoming. i...

“i have a feeling you’re getting ready to soar”
— last line in an email i just...

my heart is conflicted

wear adorable new summer dress…or save it for summer? wear it ;) happy hump day! Xxs

dear flavia machine,

there was one of you at my old office. never quite my cup of tea (or coffee) though desperate times...

“i’m still asking those questions.”
— -my pop. gosh i Love...

note to self:

don’t be so awful with names. it seems so out of character for you. you remember...

“Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up. It knows it...”
— -african proverb i believe i...

remember when may 30, 2008...

seemed like it would Never come?  like it was light years away? well, now it’s only a hop...

i have a wicked imagination.  too wicked for my own good. i fall in + out love more times in a day...

quiet (shhhh!): genius at work

i actually watched half an episode (maybe more) of family guy the other nite in spanish.  the first...

best job ever

so fa, so great.  :)  clearly i kid- but it was the most solid first day i have ever had.  not that...

“Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get...”
— will rogers reminds of a...

blu(e?) ray

please explain.

rules of the road:

hold head High be Confident- believe in You (i need to remind myself of this All the...

“let me tell you two things we definitely do Not need in our...”
— me to lovely friend of mine

ahhh, Now i get it.

vampire weekend. must. see. Live.

things i was thinking at the time...

several months ago… was it simply two talents, weaving together a fantasy of words, one that...

i don't

firstly, i am not a huge fan of diamonds (i know- gasp.) secondly, when i see a female around my age...

ray

if you’re a dude, + you’re sporting a button down that has the name “ray”...

today

sitting waiting for my dear friend in the window seat at mudd.  thinking i can sit there alone all...

because we Will open our dream...

me: dude, someone rented our space.
mech: we'll take the old restaurant space on 10th- there's a garden in back.
me: done
me: yoga in the garden? Amazing!
mech: best place ever.
*don't tell me nyc isn't desperate for this Brilliant combination!

sometimes i wish time could stand...

“Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said...”
— -the buddha i’m a...

tomorrow

i’m a kid on her first day of kindergarten. but no new box of crayons. just an unbinding...

dear job,

it’s been real. off to tackle new horizons. it’s going to be Spectacular.  i feel it in...

some people walk into our lives...

there is a lady who works at the job i am about to leave.  she sings in the bathroom stalls, smiles...

silly games i play + you can too

i claim, at the top of this blog to share a side of me that i am pretty certain most people have as...

jessicagoldharalson: Newsweek writes about this new...

“duuuuuude! worst email game i have Ever kicked.”
— me to friend.  why...

cool news

right now i am doing serveral things that fall under the category of “following my...

think do think do think do think do...

not the other way around file this under “note to Fucking self” 

about that polygamy thing...

this just makes me Physically ill. it truly pains me to know that there are people (read: many,...

“you are such a nut! candy-coated, salty-sweet, but still a...”
— -norah damn.  how can someone...

best news i've heard All day:

woody allen has an untitled project starring larry david. i think i just died + went to heaven.

why do i say yes when what i really mean...

yeah, i'd get with that.

do you ever..

find yourself doing something that’s slightly on the “i am an asshole” tip?  you...

i am So major

yup yup!  i am getting business cards at the new job :) if not certified before, it’s...

“See I’m a young soul in this very strange world Hoping...”
— yael naim, new soul (aka: song...

than i don't want to be everyone!*

me: ohhh! good nite, huh? uploading pics?
cute coworker: yeeeees!
me: oh crap! i'm not on facebook anymore. well, i mean i disabled my account.
cute coworker: whhhhhhy?
me: because i spent way too much time looking at other people pictures.
me: that just makes me feel all kinds of weird.
me: and creepy.
cute coworker: ha! everyone does that.
*but i do love her (even more) for telling me that : )

email from mom, re: do we have to resort...

Jewish divorceAn elderly man in Miami calls his son in New York and says, ‘I hate toruin ...

in my past life..

i was a maid.  100% fo’ sure. + no, i will not come clean your apartment!

what i am wearing today

a smile. why: it’s sunny, i have a hot date tonite, it’s sunny, i’m not a...

language barriers

i wonder what the world would be like without them.

“oh of course! no problem!”
— i hear myself saying this a...

man purse

never okay in my book.  Never. + don’t tell me (like dude i dated) that “you need it for...

short term goals:

1) learn how to play poker 2) go to shooting range 3) save up to get a bigger, better ipod.  music...

feeling flighty

i am not into my posts lately.  there, it’s been said.   i’m over myself? ...

if seeing forgetting sarah marshall is...

than i don’t want to be right. i truly think this one may surprise us + surpass the...

it's spring! it's really spring

in my opinion there is No better city in the world to celebrate springtime than new york! my aura is...

70-20-10

breakdown of my brain function in percentage rates.

don't look through me, look at me.

you’re eyes are piercing my soul.* *i have no idea why words like this float through my brain,...

“+ the wheels just keep on turning, the drummer begins to...”
— kingdom come, coldplay...

inside voice

the one we should use while on telephone at office. hear me over there?   yeah, didn’t think...

one minute you're in...the next? you're Out

ready

for new job. Very ready. 

something i am learning about myself:

i second guess my first intention way too often. i need to Stand behind myself taller + prouder!  i...

strong consideration

i am strongly considering deleting my facebook account. what do i Really use this thing...

today

good day.  i feel really Positive vibes. my aura is light blue. it feels good.  it’s spring. ...

hot chip: H-O-T who knew nerdy boys from britian could be...

last nite i had a dream that someone...

scary shit.

“Everyone discusses my art and pretends to understand, as if...”
— Claude Monet (via tender) you...

“it always fasincates me how people can go from loving you...”
— julie delphy, two days in...

what i am thinking while watching two...

i’m thinking: i feel as if julie delphy is cheating on ethan hawk i am falling slightly...

visit the hearst tower this weekend

if you have time, come take a peek. they are dressing the windows for the filming of...

unusally high threshold for physical...

unusally low for the emotional kind… i simply can’t seem to escape the extremes.

elevator music

bring it back.  it would make this a less awkward space (maybe). however may i suggest some really...

texting

a form of communication that’s truly creating barriers in the breakthroughs made in the world...

procrastinating

recently, i have mastered this fine activity. can it even be considered an activity? ...

when i was a little girl

i would spend many sleepless nites, lying awake in bed, thinking. i suppose i was a bit of an...

dear mr. karp,

i see you’ve made some adjustments.  so far they are not working for me. this mini text...

what i learned yesterday:

just because i am not in rush, doesn’t mean that everyone feels the same way. lots of pushing...

feet vent

dummyhead says: God I have ugly feet. And with today being the first day that is actaully pretty...

when little things bother me...

it bothers me. life’s too short + there is Too much to smile about. do i think this brief post...