dear momma,
you know how when i was a kid you used to make me + brett go to the bathroom every. single. time. we left the house? even if it was just a quick trip- to a restaurant. that would presumably have their own bathroom?
well, uh, i just wanted to let you know that i would, most often, go in + lock the door only to count to 10, flush the toilet (i know i know the poor environment!) + come back out again.
i always knew the day would come when i would tell you this + so that is how, all these years, i have been able to live with this “lie”.
in other news, i now Never leave the house without “trying” and as those of us who know me well are aware, this has little impact on the number of trips i make while out. what can i say! i have a small bladder! i love water! screw off!
i love you so much,
sammy
ps: if you are reading this and noting the time, yes i am at work + for the 50th time no i am Not going to get fired. it’s my (sadly very late) lunchtime!
