i don’t want what i wanted
it’s weird to realize some of your dreams or desires have changed…a lot.
to realize that you want to succeed within yourself, spend time with people you love, be something + someone only to people near + dear to you- or to extend yourself to those that don’t know you. but not to be known. not to be adored by many. not to be adored at all.
it’s weird to realize your idea of what’s cool or hip or happening has changed so drastically in just a matter of months. what was so appealing + alluring then seems so unnecessary + almost, dare i say, silly now?
i like my new perspective. i am happy with much of my motivation shifting, though the exact direction it is going i am not so certain of. that is a bit scary.
people always used to tell me i was lucky. even though i was yet to attain my dreams or catch my star i knew what i was grabbing for.
+ while i am still dreaming about some of the same stars, i can assure you not knowing most definitely is a bit frightening…
but i feel ready to move forward. only direction to go…
